To My Future Lover,

To my future lover,
Please try to understand where I first blossomed.
Try to see whose womb I was sprung from
And what seed made my roots.

These branches labeled arms will reach for you but often will retreat.
Please notice my hard grasp on my secrecy,
It’s something I have built for me.
Please know my hidden intimacy is a trait that fell from parts of my family tree.

My Father’s particular-ness stacked this trunk together with reason.
I now believe in answers to all responses and resort inward to solve problems.
He set my clock a few minutes fast to avoid the anxious belly that’s created when faced with being late.
Walking into a room that is already settled will never create calmness in me.
My Father and I hardly ever cry for attention but we are desperate to be heard.
He gave me rings of structure and a search for the truth.

During my youth,
My Mother painted me with curiosity.
She tattooed my chest with kindness and taught me to grow as big as I can all while never shadowing someone else’s dreams.
It seems I’ve got this tenderness in my bark…
It’s this spark of empathy that sets fire in my chest when searching for similarities.
I now always try to find similarities.

I’ve bloomed next to Sycamores and been cut down by Evergreens.
I’ve wilted in fields of Dandelions
And felt many different layers of dirt beneath my feet.
My history is Hickory.
My mind is Maple.
If you want to be with me,
You have to grow like me.

Like your roots are firmly planted, but wandering.
Like your branches brush gracefully with others.
Like your trunk is sturdy enough to support some of my fallen leaves if need be.
If you’re going to fall for me,
Please understand how I was produced.
Know how I try my best to use the negativity cut into me and somehow make it easier for those around me to breathe.

I come from a really strong family tree.


Life By The Mountains

For years I have been longing to spend more time in Colorado. I can remember in middle school, visiting with family, being amazed that we drove a little ways up, higher, and were greeted with snow deeper than our knees. That amazed me. How could it be 70+ degrees just a short drive away?

A few years ago, I had one of the best experiences volunteering at Rocky Mountain Village Summer Camp. My time 8,000 feet up inspired me to create, to love differently, and to really admire and respect my surroundings. For the first time that I can remember, I felt completely overwhelmed with my love for such a place. That whole summer was spent smiling, and learning, and searching for another rock to climb.

For many reasons, years after my experience at camp, I still found myself in Michigan. I was finishing school, completing a year long internship, and eventually, accepting my first teaching job in a familiar school district. All these things tied me to the Mitten, but my mind and heart were always floating West. After countless nights and days, I came to the decision that I needed to move. Now, I have such amazing support from everyone I know in Michigan. I have wonderful family and long-lasting friends. It saddened me to think that my soul wanted a little bit more. Maybe there was some guilt there, feeling a tad selfish, but with the announcement of my up-and-leaving, came a flood of congratulations and best-wishes from those I love. In some ways, I know most of them were not surprised by this. I had a hard time keeping my Mountain-Loving a secret.

In April, I accepting a teaching job in Colorado Springs. I had someone willing to live with me. For the first time, my trip to the mountains was not going to be a vacation, but a life change.

I’ve been in Colorado Springs for almost two weeks now. I’ve settled in to a new, super cute house, with an incredibly awesome roommate who I absolutely adore, and I’m starting to get used to these crazy Colorado roads and being able to make U-turns regularly (shout out to all those still making “Michigan Lefts”). Trainings for new teachers are slowly creeping up on my calendar, and I’m met with the reality that I will be setting up a classroom soon in an entirely new school! I’m a little overwhelmed, and I’ve had a few “uh…” moments, but for the most part I’m holding it together. Although my Mom and Dad made the drive out here with me, helped clean, set up, and stocked my house with necessities a bit, I did buy a couch that pulls into a memory foam mattress bed and had it delivered, so I’m encroaching on real “grown-up” territory here!

Unfortunately, many of my days here have been spent laying on the new couch due to a string of weird illnesses my body refuses to release. Fortunately, on the other hand, I’m not leaving Colorado any time soon, so those mountains are sure to be there for me to explore at my leisure! Things are looking up, my health is on the upswing, and my spirits are high as I continue this new adventure. The doors in my new, super cute house are always open for visitors, so if the mountains are calling you, you must come! You can even sleep on my new pull-out couch 🙂