Mean Substitution

“Are you a mean substitute?”
He asks.
I say,
“Kid,
It depends on who ya ask.

I’ve told I bask in my own rays too often-
Glow too brightly on my own.
I shine light on the darkness they think no one can see.
They call me mean.

I’m not mean spirited but I’ll let ya have it if you cross me.
My spiteful silence will fill your hollowness with non-existence.
My existence is hard to ignore so people cut me out,
Blow me off,
Bail,
But I’m the one who didn’t show I cared.

I’ve had enough of this selfish selfless game.
I’ve put myself in other people and they’ve walked away with my pieces,
Kid,
Can you see all my cracks I’ve gotten from people taking the parts of themselves they’ve given me back?
Can you see I lack the wholeness it takes to really love someone else in this place?

It all depends on how you view me.
Do you see my loose flowing boundaries as impossibilities?
I’ve been told my expectations fall too top heavy,
Don’t view me as big headed.
I’ve got a lot of ideas just like you and I mostly always tell the truth.

I am not a mean substitute.

So you cannot be mean to me, now please, go take your seat.”

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