It’s not Thanksgiving but..

It’s not Thanksgiving but here is what I am thankful for:

1. Quiet mornings
2. Children making jokes that aren’t funny. But they laugh really hard anyway.
3. When my cat chases it’s own tail.
4. Growing up in a house that embraced “teaching” moments, rather than arguments.
5. Mountains.
6. The ability to connect to people online.
7. Egg sandwiches.
8. The knowledge I have found through Central Michigan University, friends, family, and experiences.
9. Warm nights with bonfires.
10. Traveling anywhere, but especially abroad.
11. Poetry.
12. The tin full of cookies my Grandma sent me.
13. Tents.
14. Coffee mugs.
15. Unexpected naps.
16. Netflix
17. Kitten cuddles.
18. Baby cuddles.
19. Having a house that keeps me warm.
20. For saying, “I don’t have room in the fridge for this food right now.”
21. Beer.
22. Hashbrowns.
23. NOT country potatoes.
24. Having a car.
25. My bed.
26. Meeting people who like to craft.
27. Good smelling things like cologne, lavender, pizza, candles, and Spring.
28. Phone calls with my mom and dad.
29. My traveling friend, Hannah, who always seems to get it.
30. My dreadlocks.
31. Cultural awareness.
32. Late nights without having to set an alarm in the morning.
33. Chairs from Goodwill.
34. Antique stores.
35. People who love to share their story.

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Maybe

Facebook is great for many things: scrolling through pictures of vacations, meeting people, staying in touch, stalking ex’s, showing support, gathering news, etc. I have found one thing (along with many others) Facebook is not good at. The one characteristic that irks me the most is the “Maybe” option on events. Sure, I’ve wanted to attend an event but it was months away, almost a two hour drive, and my financial status wasn’t really booming, so I clicked maybe. But that was a big event. At a bar. With multiple bands. And clearly, in that case, one person isn’t going to make a whole lot of a difference when it comes to attendance.

On the other hand, if it’s a birthday party with only a hand or two full of people, Facebook should call for some more commitment from the attendees. But, I guess, what can I expect from a website that allows for “it’s complicated” to be under the relationship category (talk about lack of commitment).

Now, lets go back to the First Grade. Mom and Dad were super excited about you turning 7 and you couldn’t wait to have a cake and balloons and all your friends and PRESENTS!!!!!! Look beyond that 7 year old excitement, and Mom and Dad were sending out birthday cards so you could have your special day. The cards probably had some crazy fun border, probably with pink ribbons and princess crowns if you were a girl and some sort of cars or dinosaurs if you were a boy. Did these cards say,
“Suzy is having a birthday party!
August 21st at 7pm!
Ravin’ Roller Rink!
RSVP:
yes    maybe    no”?

No, of course those cute little cards with the confetti on them did not give the parents a “maybe” option. The kid was either coming or he wasn’t and that was that.

I’m not saying that I am overflowing with commitment by any means. Most nights I can’t decide if I want to fall asleep face down on my bed with my work clothes still on, or go to a bar. And if I do decide to go out, I can’t figure out where I want to go or who I want to go with. Clearly, I’m not the most motivated person in the world, but I do know that when it is my small event, I’d like to know who I can expect there.

Maybe for most people, it wouldn’t bother them, but I truly feel like a “host” when people come over. I’d like to make sure I have some clean blankets and maybe an extra pillow or two laying around. I’d like to go out and buy some frozen pizzas or make sure there’s some Gatorade in the fridge. I like to know what to prepare for.

When there’s 11 people “maybe” attending, there’s a lot of room for the party to go from chill to crazy. And the “maybe” option Facebook allows really agitates me.

But only when I’m not the one clicking “maybe.”

I haven’t written in my journal in over two weeks. I’m not sure if I don’t know my own thoughts, or if I have just lost motivation to write them all down. These empty journal pages sadden me, but my recent crafting has consisted of water painting, which is new for me, so, cheers to a new form of expression!

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Lately,
Words have been hard for me.
My mind speaks in more than font.
I think in shapes and taste watercolors before every breath.
It’s hard to project anything less than creativity,
But lately,
Words are hard for me.
My mind gets lost in all the energies.
I think my acrylic dreams are floating away from me.
It’s hard to pin down paper that’s never pressed.
And lately,
My words are a jumbled up mess.