As terrible as this might sound, money makes me extremely happy.

I’ve spent years hating how I need money to get from one place to another. I hate how traveling empties my money filled gas tank and how putting healthy food in my stomach is costly.

I hate money.

Or at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

Today I received a check for 181 dollars. That’s more money than I’ve had in my bank account in a long time. The feeling I got when I saw those numbers astounded me.

First I double checked them a few times to make sure it was real. Then, a huge grin. It’s situations like that that make me second guess my hateful attitude towards money. I don’t hate money- I hate that the lifestyle I live requires it.

As soon as I saw those numbers I felt my stress levels lower, my overall mood got better, and I started envisioning vegetables on my dinner plate along with the usual rice or noodles I’ve been consuming for weeks. I pictured the gas light in my car turning off. I could almost feel my fingers wrapping around the cardboard handle of some hard cider (Tis the season after all…) 

I guess what I’m trying to say is I should stop being so hard on money. I mean, it’s not money’s fault I need it like I need chocolate once a month. It doesn’t mean I want it, but I do want to do fun things like travel and go out to eat with friends. In order to do those things it’s necessary to have money in my wallet.

With that being said…

Back to work I go.

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