I love you…
But not everyone understands why.
You see, to me, you have the most gorgeous eyes.
They’re cooler than any guys I’ve ever gazed at.
Sometimes when I stand a foot away from you I wonder if you can see me staring.
Then, ten minutes later, I realize I haven’t moved or looked away once
And once again, I wonder if you can see me.
Sorry if it’s rude…maybe even creepy…
But I can’t help being mesmerized by you.
There’s a spotlight on you at all times
And it highlights the wrinkles in your neck,
The lines on your face,
And the length of your nails.
I wish I could hug you but whenever I get close you snap at me.
It hurts my feelings but I understand that sometimes a love like this is hard to accept.
I talk to you all day long but you will never respond.
However, I know if you did you would have a British accent and a sarcastic tone
And, Esteban, I just love you.
You float so effortlessly through your 50 gallon tank.
You’re so precious when you struggle to get onto your rock
And if you wouldn’t try and bite me whenever I got close
I would place you so perfectly in my hand and warm you up myself.
But with your new tank I can’t even reach over the top.
It limits our love.
Well, maybe not our love…but my love…for you.
Your hard exterior makes people believe you’re a grumpy old man
But what they don’t see is the smirk on your face when you swim through the bubbles your filter makes.
I would play with you all day long,
But the thin glass separates my fingers from your face
And when people find out you’re a turtle, they’ll probably laugh.
But I love you, Esteban.
If I put you in a turtle race I know that you’d come in first place.
You’d put all the other turtles to shame.
I try and protect you from the rude guests who pour beer in your tank,
But lets be honest…
It’s kind of hard to do when…I’m tanked.
And sometimes I do forget to look after you.
I apologize for that.
But I hope you recognize my love for you is true.
I feed you grapes,
And pita chips.
Which may not be good for a turtle but I’ve been told many times the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
And the internet says that weird shaking thing you do with your claws is considered flirting.
So, I’ll take that as a sign that you just might like me back.
You’ve already exceeded all my expectations of you.
You go above and beyond being amazing,
And I never thought I would be saying this to a turtle.
I pictured something a little different…like…a person.
But I’m not ashamed.
I’m more or less in awe at how quickly you captured my heart.